MY Heart Hurts

Ok i have to let it out. Im a loving, bottled up person and i dislike fighting and crying and well sadness. Right now im really just really really sad tho. It feels like my whole world is falling apart at the seems and its hard because nobody really knows how i feel as much as they say they do(Yes, Im Stubborn). I have always had a hard time letting it out and if i did it meant yelling at very innocent people ,and yes i did feel bad, and it usually had nothing to do about the way i felt. I dislike with a passion feeling hopeless. I feel as if God himself has left me stranded and that quite frankly sucks. I wish i had a clone at this very moment so i could talk to myself without looking mentally insane. I love being around people, well the nice ones anywayz, and i dont even want to be aroung my cats cuz i feel that alone when i know in my mind that im not. I dont know. I just dont know anymore whether to just hold it in and keep it bottle or rant or just forget it. But to be honest i dont think i need anymore "quariantened disorganized mind furniture"(My friend Sheanna's quote)And to top it all off i just want to break down and cry...another thing i dislike doing...but i guess im on a losing streak anyway.