Another Lifter.....

Jessica;




Don't take this wrong I am not trying to be nosey...



I read your post regarding your mom... I am not sure how old you are either but I honestly have never had a great relationship with my mom. I am 40 now and we still don't really "connect" the way a mother and daughter should.



Also, as much as I LOVE my son, I regret that I never had the chance to have a girl... Just to give her what I could never get from my mom. But I give my son support in all he does, I am tough on him when I need to be, and I let him know that I am always there for him to talk to!!!



I guess what I am trying to say is this... No matter what is going on right now, be good to yourself and if you ever need a person to talk to I would be there as a friend to be a sounding board and a shoulder as well.



Its not easy growing up and being a woman without the person who is supposed to always be there unconditionally (your mother).



Keep smiling



Dawn
 
 
My response:
 
its ok and i dont mind. I say that she not my mom because she hasnt been there for me as one. She has Chiari Malformation and she had an operation last year. The woman that emerged wasnt my mother. She left me in Madison(where she had her surgery) only because i was pregnant. Im 18 now and was 17 at the time. I have a little boy named Trystyn Joell and i moved back in with her along with my son and our relationship only grew because of him. But im 18 and i ended up getting post-partum depression and i had no support system. I wasnt ready to be a mom and my son wasnt concieved out of love or choice. I had a hard time with that. so 3 months ago i decided to have an open adoption with the family that took care of me when i was pregnant and were there when he was born. The are like a family to me and my real mother couldnt accept that i needed to grow up and finish college before i was ready for any of motherhood. I cant support a baby and i love him enough to know that my choice is the best one i have made and my mother didnt accept it. She basically disowned me because of it. Shes handicapped so i would try to help her with my brother and sister but she refused it and blamed me for the way they acted. After she got me in to trouble, i had to leave. I had been living with her for 4 months and i had no way of paying for school, no car, no job and then no more little boy. So i moved in with my best friend and now im getting my life straight. I dont want to be a mother like mine was. She had me when she was 19 and she married the guy. He ended up abusing her so i had to be mom at 6, so when i moved in with her those instincts were still there and i tried to help her be a mom but that only strained our already fragile relationship. But im glad you asked and im glad you can be there. I have a mother figure and her name is Sarah and she was a mom at 17 and shes also the one adopting Trystyn. Im glad i have her because without her i dont think i would be stable.lol. but thank you for listening. i really needed it.




Thank you always

Jessica